Why can't they always be little darlings?

This would be totally false advertising. They look nothing like this right now. Their faces are instead contorted, red, sweaty, booger covered, and dare I say crusty? For the last week they've been totally unreasonable, whiny, bad tempered, and unintelligible for about 17 hours a day, and they REFUSE to nap.

Cough syrup, cold and flu medicine have absolutely no effect on them. I want to know what makes them sleep? If they could just sleep oh about 17 hours a day while ill, life, my life, would be a walk in the park.

It's been such a long, long time..

I was going to try and go back and post various dates in between (to cover the last 4 months I've been MIA), but that would take forever, and as a mom with two toddlers, I have precious little of it! SO, the quick version, if anyone is at all interested: after my stint in hospital, I visited a gastrointestinal Dr, and I didn't have a gallbladder issue, or pancreatitis, I had a broken rib!

I then went to see a blood disorder Dr for my anemia. Turns out I was more than severely anemic - they rushed me into infusion services immediately and I spent the next 4 + hours getting an infusion of iron and some steroid. The next day I went in and found out I was in fact pregnant. Big shock. Not only had the hospital who'd done 3 X-rays and a CAT Scan not found my broken rib, but they'd not found out I was pregnant either. No, I wasn't using fertility drugs either. Big shock.

For the next week or so I went almost daily for iron infusion, then we went on vacation. Vacation was totally awesome! We spent a week in San Diego, at Paradise Point, then we went to Yosemite National Park, and then we spent a week in Reno with hubby's family. It was an amazing trip, and the kids were awesome! They were so well behaved on the plane rides, that the people around us were shocked getting off, because they had *no idea* that we even had children with us!! Be still my beating heart! They do have their good days.

We had a great time in San Diego, at the beach, Lego land, Wild Animal Kingdom, Sea World, Harris Ranch, and the casinos in downtown Reno! Unfortunately most of the water in the falls at Yosemite have dried up, so it wasn't spectacular, like I know it's been in the past. We hiked, and relaxed, and it was so scenic in places that I could have cried.

A few weeks after we got back into town, and at the beginning of my 13th week, I had a miscarriage. Of course. Just what I needed, and just when I was starting to get used to the whole idea of the pregnancy actually being viable. SO, I'm now anemic again, (I'm sure), but can't seem to get myself together to start doing the iron infusions again, or go to the DR to get anything taken care of. Within about two weeks of that, my in-laws flew right back out to help take care of the kids, so I could just stay in bed with the covers over my head for another two weeks. While in bed, I picked up this awful flu like thing, that has this cough that just won't go away. I sound awful, and I can't seem to shake it. Thankfully now, I have no other symptoms other than the bloody cough.

It's been about 3 weeks since they left, and I'm starting to feel like myself again. I've finally left the house, started back to the gym (because of course while I was pregnant, I ate like a friggin' horse, and put on 26lbs) so I'm trying to work that off, and would like to find some more of the old motivation I'd usually have.

The last 4 days have been hellish - we've been stuck in the house because the kids got whatever God awful thing I've had (and still have), snotty noses, and this bad cough, so taking them to kids club, or playgroups has not been an option. It's amazing how crazy you can go after a few days straight in the house with two toddlers. We finally got out today and went to Savage Mill, and walked on the trail, and then ate lunch at the tavern.

I've also got new furniture.... however, take my advice, NEVER pick out furniture on the internet when you're depressed. It arrived today and I'm hoping it gets more comfortable, really soon.

Law Enforcement?

OK I'm soooo depressed about Wednesday that I'm seriously considering pain or no pain, gall bladders, pancreas, missing body parts or not, I want to drive to Annapolis to the pirate ship outing that I planned. Even the kids will be a bit disappointed otherwise!!

I personally thought the hospital staff were a little mad and down right irresponsible discharging me the other morning, after they'd spent the entire day and night keeping me high and drugged up. I was loopy. I even remember stumbling to my car and feeling a bit woozy and the whole way home thinking, what's the legal ramifications if I run my car into a ditch while high on whatever it was that they pumped me full of....?? It's a DUI, I'm sure.

I wonder what are the laws about driving while on this stuff? I know the warning says things like don't drink or operate heavy machinary (which I assume means a car, and not a tractor trailer), but is there a specific law against driving while on this stuff?? Is it like being "intoxicated" on alcohol? Can you get a DUI? They've given me percocet for the pain

I guess I'm just hoping that it rains buckets so the pirate ship event can be postponed and I don't have these dilemmas going on in my head ;-) I soooooo want to go!!!! BTW - I'm a little drugged right now, so forgive me.

Cup-A-Soup...

So, it's Mother's Day. I'm high as a kite, and in a world of a hurt. My kids came in this morning with a gorgeous buzy lizzy plant, and cards for me. I hope he wasn't being "funny" but hubby got me a "reformer" session, and a massage at the gym, and promised I could do the TN trip when I was better.

Several hours later, I made it downstairs - god knows I was just going down to check & make sure the stove wasn't left on again.

I asked hubby if he'd be a dear and pop out to the grocery and get me some cup-a-soups - you know those 70 calorie, 4 to a box, things that you pour a hot cup of water over? I wanted him to get me a box of tomato and a box of chicken soup flavor. I didn't think I could handle chunks, veggies or anything like that, and just wanted something brothy, that I could drink down. I've always bought those things when I'm not feeling good for some reason.

SO, he comes back, with Oxtail and some other kinds of "packet" stuff that you make "dips" out of. About 6 different boxes of stuff. I explained it again, in detail, and off he went for the 2nd time. This time he came back with every brand of canned soup on the market. Split pea, lentil, tomato/veggie, and boxes of that campbells soup stuff. I was seriously pissed off.

SO, as I'm still up and holding onto the wall for support, I hunted down a box, with one last packet in it, and sent him out again - with the box and the packet. I really wanted cup-a-soup, and I realized I was acting like the "soup natzi" but didn't care.

I was obviously not going to get cup-a-soup. The store manager of the local Giant called me. She told me she was standing with my husband in the soup aisle, and unfortunately for me, they no longer stock "cup-a-soup" -- I swear to god, if it hadn't been for the fact that I can't breathe, I'd have been rolling around the floor laughing my pants off.

SO, he is going to be having a lot of soup for dinner for the next few weeks because I swear no joke he spent almost $150 on the stuff. When I'm better, I'm going to the grocery store to find a box of it, and then I'm going to beat him with it ;-) Are all husbands this daft? Or just mine?

Heart Attacks & ERs

So Thursday night Regan invites us to come out to dinner with her and her mom. They are raving about Azucar's margaritas - so how can I possibly not try one. I'm finding it very hard to concentrate - way more than usual, and I'm totally uninterested in a margarita. (THAT should have been my first clue that something was terribly wrong with me)! Milan who is really not being "bad" is getting on my nerves, and I can feel like I'm getting a major headache. Half way through our dinner, I've really had enough. I don't feel good, and my head is pounding, so I ask if we can leave and go home.

When I wake up the next morning I'm in excruciating pain. I feel like I'm possibly having a heart attack. Can a 35 year old woman have a heart attack? My left hand is numb, my left shoulder is hurting, and my chest feels like I'm being squeezed to death by a boa constrictor. I am having a tough time breathing, but I think, this is ridiculous, and I must just be having a "panic attack" about going to TN, and leaving hubby to manage everything on his own.

I have phone calls to make, and the morning is not going well at all. I'm finding it difficult to walk, stand up straight, or talk, but I've got this playdate scheduled at Gravelly Point and I can't not go. Even if I'm having a heart attack, I just can't not show up. We get there late, very late for me. An hour late. I thought I was going to have to pull over on the side of the road and throw up, and I was having hot flashes the whole ride. Literally I let the kids play for an hour, and I couldn't stand it anylonger. I could barely talk, sitting was very painful, and if I laid down, I was worried I'd never be able to stand back up, so I got the kids together, and loaded them back into the car.

By the time I got home, my pain was 10 times worse, and I didn't think that was at all possible. I was convinced I was having a heart attack, so I grabbed a bottle of those mini low dose asperins and read that you're supposed to chew them if you're having a heart attack. I must have chewed up literally half a bottle. I mean if one possibly works in stopping a heart attack from happening, then 20 must for sure make things all better.

Sitting down with my knees pulled up made it slightly better, removing my bra felt 10 times better, and I just thought I have to chill out until hubby gets home from work. I don't know how I made it, but by that afternoon, I'd had enough. As soon as he walked in, I walked out, and told him I was taking myself to the ER, and he could stay with the kids. I could barely get into or out of my car, and my breathing had become really bad, so bad that when I walked into the emergency room, they immediately called my name and had me seen right away even though there were other people waiting.

Why is it that no matter what the ailment is - the hospital insists on a pregnancy test? I mean I knew I wasn't pregnant, I was having a heart attack for gods sake. So, within a few minutes I was in bed, with IV's of drugs on one side, and my heart hooked up to monitors on the other side. The bloodwork came back - not pregnant but severly anemic & some screwy band cells - that's the story of my life. Then came time for XRays, and more drugs, and a doc who was very concered he was going to cause me discomfort by slipping his lubed up finger up my rectum... to check for internal bleeding?? All that was ho hum. I was in severe pain, and nothing he was going to do back there was going to even come close.

They tried to reassure me that I was NOT having a heart attack, and that the pain I was feeling in my arm/shoulder and left side, was just "radiating" to those areas, and was actually coming from the middle of my stomach. They were concerned that I've got some low white blood count issues, and just kept pumping me full of some pain reliever drug (thank you, thank you)...

Some more results came back that I possibly had gallbladder issues, and issues with my pancreas - back down for more XRays, and then back once more for a CT SCAN. They injected me with iodine and wanted me to breathe deeply and hold it - which I was uselss at. I could barely breathe, much less take in large gulps and hold them for 60 seconds! Those results were pretty much worthless.

So this goes on until the next day, at which point, they discharge me with percocet and orders to go to bed for 3 days, then see a GI dr, and a hematologist. I was sooo relieved to get out of there! The entire night was a mad show with drunks, whackjobs getting sedated and straight-jackets, and people throwing up and pooping themselves in the beds on either side of me, due to the "roto virus"...

I have to have an ERCP, and then also schedule gallbladder surgery in about 1 month. I'm not thrilled about losing body parts.

I'm not allowed any alcohol, (there goes all the mommy drinking during playdates) and have to eat a diet high in carbs, and no fat. (I'm sure that means chocolate is out). I'm not allowed to fly as apparantly the high altitudes will make the breathing problem much worse, and going to a "mountain" is off limits. SO, for now, my TN trip is off :-(

Aries Girls..

I'm an Aries - and boy do I have all of the traits! I'm quick tempered, fearless, enthusiastic, adventurous, impulsive, headstrong, and will say exactly what I want, when I want, and rarely engage my brain before opening my mouth. I love freedom of choice. I lose interest almost immediately if I don't get "quick results". I'm definitely not a follower, and I want to do things my way. I am easily irrated by slowness in friends, and can't stand "stupid".

I love people who are straightforward, and tell it like it is. I enjoy people with a lot of get up and go. If you are out on a date with me, plan to stay out late, and have fun. I can't stand lazy, slug like, indecisive people. I would prefer to figure things out while I'm doing them, instead of reading the instructions. Kinda like Ready, Fire, Aim.. - doesn't always work, but I'm to much of a get up and go girl to slow down and read the damn book.

What you see, is what you get from me. I suck at lying & try to avoid it at all costs. Don't ever expect subtlety, tact or humility from me. I'm very direct, frank and honest, sometimes to my detriment. I prefer to do things for myself, rather than wait for other people to do them. To me, that's the fastest way to get something done.

I'm fiercly proud & in love with my family. As a mother, my kids will usually be clean, happy, healthy and loved. I probably won't pick them up every time they cry or fuss and I'm not going to over protect them, But my kids get loads of warm, wet, impulsive kisses and big bear hugs. I'm not a permissive parent, and my favorite weapons of child psychology are: time out, a wooden paddle, (joking, but at least a good hand spank on the butt is sometimes deserved), bedtime stories and goodnight kisses.

There is NOTHING that I won't tackle. If it's a challenge or just something I think I want to brighten my life, I'll make some kind of a stab at it whether it's practical or not.

I have shining optimism, and love other positive people to surround myself with. An absolute way to end a relationship with me is to start dictating, or dominating me. Don't ever give me orders, because I'll just quit listening. Probably the only thing I hate about my personality is that when I'm done with something, or someone, I'm done. I can't go back.

Childish Behaviour...

I'm so glad that I'm over it. I have had total mental block for days now, have so much to say and can't get it out. Why, I hear you ask? Because I was really STUPID, and posted my blog url to my email signature line, and until I could get to the point of blowing, and going completely mental on certain mommie bitches, I didn't think I could write about it. I'm pissed that I had lost my personality, sparkle, enthusiasm, and fucking fun attitude.

I can't believe I even suggested giving up my group because some suggested I was doing them and everyone else a dis-service. FUCK 'EM! I can't believe *I* (even for a second) crumbled, and showed weakness, meekness, and oh poor-me-ness. All things I can't fucking stand.

I don't see it as a personality flaw when I refuse to compromise my own ideals and opinions. I can't stand women who say one thing to your face, and then another behind your back. I can't stand people who couldn't do what I've done, but all of a sudden think they're a fucking authority on it, and everything else. I can't believe I was so STUPID to think that some women wouldn't be complete bitches.

You do understand that a belief is a point of view - that person's p.o.v. I hate when people attack, point the finger at others, (or whisper behind their backs) based upon something they disagree with. It's a fucking opinion. We all have them. We're all entitled to them, and that's what makes it great about "getting to know someone". They can turn out to be not what you thought, and that's ok.

The fact that something so fun for me and the kids was becoming so negative, a chore, and left me wandering around with a feeling of dread in the pit of my stomach sucked. However, I can't believe that I even let it bring me down. I was slipping. I was falling into fucking Stepford. So, I did the only thing that would make me feel better, and be my personal best, I got lots of hugs and kisses from my family & friends, and I understood how really stupid & childish I, and they had become.

Gone like a freight-train, gone like yesterday, gone like a soldier in a civil war, bang bang..

So I take my kids to the outlet mall to find the new sketcher's croc's (with the backs on them and straps across the foot). We roll in with our great big double stroller, which of course doesn't fit down any of the aisles, and I've got to park it nearby. So, I've got my kids parked and strapped in. I find a pair of shoes for my daughter, get her out, sit her down and put them on, and just as I set her down on the floor to have her walk for me, I hear a huge commotion and next thing I know my son is buried under about 12 boxes of shoes.

As he weighs about 21lbs dripping wet, he is literally buried. He'd pulled the bottom box from the shelf, and the rest came toppling down. I quickly scoop the boxes up, shove them back on the shelf, and I swear, 30 seconds later, I turn around and my daughter is gone. Gone. GONE!

I frantically called her name, and started searching the aisles - but what the fuck is up with shoe stores who have those shelving units up to my breasts, and barely able to see over. I ran throughout the store calling for her, and ran to the door.

I ran out into the mall and must have looked like a deer caught in the headlights, trying to figure out which way she might have gone. A very young couple walking past, totally nonchalantly asks if I'm looking for a little girl. WTF? NO SHIT SHERLOCK, I'm looking for a little girl. My little girl. They said she was about 9 or 10 stores down... I ran frantically.... as I'm running I feel sick to my stomach, and almost want to puke. I then realise as I'm running and screaming her name, I've left my wallet on top of my stroller, and my other kid in the stroller, alone, in the shoe store. I keep calling and there's no answer. I can't see past the sea of people, and I'm thinking when and if I get her, I'm going to bloody kill her. She is obviously coming into the "terrible twos" stage.

I finally see her. She's "shuffled" her way at a high rate of speed, with the stupid anti-theft device holding the stupid crocs together in the middle. So much for their fucking anti-theft program. I grab her up, and I admit the first thing I wanted to do was slap her silly. Or puke. I couldn't figure out which. I screamed at her the whole way back to the shop, and as she's so sensitive by nature, that was probably worse than a spanking. She was balling her eyes out when we got back to the shop, and thankfully Houdini hadn't gone anywhere. God knows I was in no mood for him to do a disappearing act.

I pulled the shoes off her, grabbed my son's, and slapped them down on the counter. Of course the one and only store employee is oblivious to all that's gone on, (which makes me want to slap him too) and he wants to sell me the doo-dads for the shoes. I'm barely lucid enough to get money out of my wallet, which was thankfully still sitting on top of the stroller, and the last thing I want to do is ponder fucking pins for the shoes.

I've hated the idea of "leashes" but I swear to God, my children need to be leashed.

I felt like such a bad mommie, and it took days for me to settle down, and not feel nauseous everytime I thought about it.

The biggest loser...

So a few friends from the mommy group and I decided to start our own version of "The Biggest Loser" competition. We met last night at The Cheesecake Factory over at Tysons for our "last supper" and our weigh in!! LOL.

We're going to do it for 12 weeks, and then the biggest loser takes the pot of money we all put in, plus will receive a "service" from each of the participating members. We chowed down, and then ate cheesecake!!

I definitely need this competition, I still have about 30lbs I need to lose. I'm really going to have to buckle down though, my eating out has gotten way out of hand, and I need to start writing down my food intake again. That helped so much last time, but I prefer writing it in a food journal, rather than entering it online. I'd also gotten out of the habit of twice daily exercise sessions, and weighing myself every day.

SO.... wish me luck!

Terrible Two's?

For like the past month or more my son has really been testing my patience. Actually as of today, it's completely gone, I don't even have a shred left. Luckily for me and HIM, he went to sleep when we got home, and he's STILL ASLEEP!!! I don't want to wake him, I don't want to fight with him, and I don't want to see his pissy little temper tantrums!!

I know that not napping anylonger in the afternoon is causing some of the melt downs, but I can't force him to sleep, and he obviously only will when he's completely exhausted. 1,2,3 worked GREAT from the time he was maybe 9 months old to now, and now he's just defiant. Really only when we're out someplace, because he still cooperates at home (for some weird reason).

Is this the terrible twos? Do they just suddenly turn into Damien? I don't know where he picked it up, but in the last week, he's been throwing himself onto the floor/ground when we're out, but obviously doesn't realise that he's then "supposed" to kick his feet and writhe around like a lunatic - so he just lays there and looks at me.... but with a pissy, whiny look on his face. Then when I've picked him up, he furiously does this kicking and flailing with his legs and feet, and I've actually dropped him to the ground, one because it hurts when you get whacked in the boob, or the stomach, but two because I don't know what else to do. Usually the shock of falling on his ass, or his head, shocks him into realizing he's pushed his luck.

I'm not opposed to spanking, and only use it as a last resort, BUT, this whole spanking through the trousers, and over the diaper thing, does not have the same effect, as me slapping his bare leg, which immediately silences him (from the sheer shock of it no doubt). Does anyone else spank? It seems to be very un PC here in the states, but where I grew up, my mom would trail me out of a grocery store by the ear, and not give it a second thought, or give me a good whack on the ass with a "ruler" if I wasn't doing what I was told.

I've read all the stuff that says when I spank, I'm the one losing control, and I even agree with that to a certain extent, but sometimes, like today, I wasn't out of control, but I wanted him to know that he was at the end of a very short rope, and he needed to quit. It could be that it's Thursday, and it's been a long week of 13+ hour days alone with him and her, but I'm feeling like he's just decided that he can do whatever he wants, when he wants. I want to nip that in the bud right now.

He is normally very good about knowing not to go on the road, and at the park, he normally stays on the grassy area, but this week, I find myself saying over and over again, come out of the carpark, and stay on the grass. I've put him in time out at the park, but nothing seems to phase him. I don't want to be one of those moms who say things over and over, but then don't really mean it. I want him to know that when I say it, he'd better listen to me, or there's going to be a consequence... but what's the consequence???

A friend of mine who has 22 year old kids gave me a book - called - Toddler Taming - and it's british and obviously was written 20 years ago, but it's very clear that spanking was a means to an end, worked well, and was promoted widely. Are there other books? Other suggestions?

Milan does have a lot of very special issues, that do add to his behaviour and we have read the out of sync child, which gives us insight into the things he doesn't tolerate well, but it doesn't really talk about discipline methods for toddlers.

When do they "get" sharing? Today at playgroup, everytime another child picked up a toy, HE THEN WANTED THAT TOY. It was SO annoying. I actually wouldn't care if he didn't "get it" but at least didn't whine and throw a hissy fit about it. AAGGGGHHHH!!! So sorry for the long rant! It doesn't help that so many of the moms that I now know have kiddies who seem like totally well behaved, normal children!! I feel very inferior as a mommie. I think I'm the only one out of the group who has to constantly correct her kid.

Please help!!!

Aaaagggghhh!! Totally stressed out mommie..

I had no idea what drama would ensue. I had no idea that moms could get so angry, and throw their toys out of their prams in a most unladylike manner. The fact that people feel anonymous behind their computer screen gives them a level of ballsey-ness that they most definitely wouldn't have in person.

Now that I've calmed down, and don't want to hunt them down with a baseball bat, I find it interesting. However, not *that* interesting.

I had so much fun today with the kids - except my son has picked up this really annoying habit, and I'm ready to pull my hair out from it:



I have no idea where he got this silly, idiotic, throwing himself on the floor, and attempting to start a temper tantrum from. I am SO NOT that mommie. He better get over it quick, otherwise I'm going to make a book of these photos on shutterfly, and then I'll shame him with it for the REST OF HIS NATURAL LIFE!!

Allergies, Stroller-skate & Cherry Blossoms!

We have been having so much darn fun! Today we took the kids to a roller skating rink where they let the mommies push the strollers around the rink. It was fantastic! Of course, dodging little people was mighty difficult & the fact that I haven't been on rollerskates in about 20 years made it "interesting" to say the least.

It was my birthday on Tuesday - 35. God it sounds so old now. When I got home with the kids from the gym, Dan had all the lights dimmed, and candles on a cake, along with dinner & pressies. It was so sweet of him! However, Terryn and I ate half an entire cake between us. I've gained almost 7lbs over the last two weeks. I've been on a binge. Last night I had Godiva chocolate cheesecake. I can't stop. It's pathetic.

We had an appointment with an allergist on Tuesday. I decided at the last minute to take my daughter too, so when we got there, they did the prick test thing on both kids. Milan who has serious eating issues, and diarrhea several times a day, came up negative! We've now got a name and number for a Pediatric GI specialist at Georgetown Hospital. The allergist said that a lot of preemies who were born drug addicted & with fetal alcohol issues have immature intestinal tracts & although no "allergies" he probably does have an intolerance to most foods that have glucose in them as it puts more of a strain on the digestive system.... So my daughter, she came up positive... Totally allergic to dairy products.

This is the same girl who wolfs down ice cream, loves milk in her cereal, ate half a cake stuffed with vanilla pudding and freshly whipped cream with me the night before the testing, and eats cheese every day! My son on the other hand hates dairy of any kind, including cake and ice cream (and we assumed he was just really smart and knew what upset his stomach, so would choose to avoid those foods)!

Now we have to remove everything dairy related from our daughter's diet. Boy will that be hard. Signs that I missed - a runny or stuffy nose, annoying cough and general cold sypmtoms. He said that as she approaches 2 years old, the symptoms would get much worse and that she will be more at risk for being allergic to other things - like pollen etc., later in life. I thought she just kept getting sick, (daycare at the gym, changes in weather and that kinda stuff). Boy do I feel awful. I've been giving her triaminic and other stuff unnecessarily.

Monday we went to the Building Museum in DC, it was AWESOME! The building itself is pretty spectacular and the kids had so much fun in the "construction zone". Afterwards we metro'd up to the Smithsonian and walked over to the Tidal Basin. They were having an outdoor concert when we arrived, and the weather couldn't have been anymore perfect! It was absolutely beautiful.

Ok, deep breaths, calming thoughts & waiting children.

So, I have calmed down considerably since my last stressed out post. A few friends and the hubby told me to "take a chill pill", and stop feeling responsible for everyone else's "good time". They also put things in clear perspective for me. I do this for MY fun. For my kids to socialize, and to get us out of the house and experiencing all that this amazing area has to offer us!

They all also think I should be "charging" dues/membership fees. I don't know about that. I'm on the fence ~ while I realize that I wouldn't have a problem paying (and have paid) to join other "MOMS" groups, I don't know that most people would. I don't have a problem paying meetup.com's fees, and would probably rather seek "sponsorship" from local businesses that we frequent, rather than ask the moms to pony up $5 or $10 a month.

On a positive & completely different note, I got a phone call from Patrick today. Patrick was our foster son for almost 5 years. He is now almost 18, and living in "independent living", with hopes of going to Frostburg in August. He was my first child and it was hard to let him go. There's just so much heartache & so much joy entwined together. Hearing from him reminds me that we should step up to the plate again and take in another "older" child. We got Patrick when he was in 8th grade. We've had at least 20 or 30 placements. Some are for two days, some are for 2 weeks. We did "emergency" care, so when they had a situation that came up in the middle night (because I worked from home) they would call us, and have us get a bed ready for whoever they happened to be bringing by. (Many families who do foster care, will only be available Mon-Friday 9am - 5pm - like office hours....)

We asked for, and received mostly teenage boys, or school age sibling groups. The average age of a child in foster care is 8 years old. However, foster care is also how we got our son. They called up one day and told us about a baby boy that had just been born, and abandoned in the hospital, and was a high risk placement, but one that was likely to go straight to adoption.

The system for sure has it's faults. Children (like Patrick) languish in foster care all of their lives. He had approx 10 other homes before ours. I know that Bill Clinton, when he was President enacted a law that said at 18 months TPR should be automatically considered.. however, if the birth family makes even the slightest move in a positive direction (i.e agrees to take a drug test sometime in the future, or shows up to a meeting), it can drag on and on and on. Even though it's been several years since this was brought into effect, I don't think change can or will happen suddenly for most of these kids.

Rosie O'Donnell mentions frequently while on The View, the stats for these children - there's something like 600,000+ children in foster care, of these, maybe 100,000 are in foster homes, the rest are basically ware-housed. Of that 600,000, less than 80,000 have been adopted. Yet if you know someone who is trying to adopt, chances are they're trying to adopt from overseas... ?? Yeah... For more information on stats, read Administration for Children & Families.

Anyway, as you can tell, I'm seriously thinking of going down that road again. The only reason we stopped was because of all the many issues my son has, he requires various therapy sessions, doctor visits, and lots of nurturing. You can also imagine the challenges living with someone who has Fetal Alcohol Syndrome, OCD, ADHD, Bi-Polar, Pre-natal drug exposure, low weight, oral/motor problems, behaviour problems, speech & developmental delays.. to name but a few.

Then there's my daughter. So patient, loving, emotional, funny, quiet, much more reserved than my son. She definitely has a few issues of her own, but all in all, she's a walk in the park compared to Milan.

This is hard work.... how do other mommies deal with this?

Having a 'moms group' is much harder than I thought it would be. In the last 12 short weeks of being an organizer of this group, I have had more than several stressful moments already. I've had many argue with me about moving from yahoogroups to meetup.com. I've had a few moms yell at me about having a photo as a requirement to the group. I've had a few more tell me they couldn't find us at certain events, either because they were a bit late, or because they didn't feel comfortable asking a complete stranger if they were part of the group... that doesn't half make me feel bad, I know how much trouble it is to get out the house with a kid or two, but then to arrive somewhere and wind up walking around by yourself is horrible.

I'm actually now hyperventilating about this Saturday - I feel like it's going to be seriously stressful. It's already a logistical nightmare - trying to meet 100+ women, with their babies, children and husbands on the National Mall during the Cherry Blossom's Kite Festival!! I can't imagine how many phone calls I'm going to get, much less how I'm going to get there with my big ass double jogging stroller, two kids, diaper bags, snacks and navigating the metro stations! They do allow me to wheel the stroller right onto the metro cars, don't they??

Although I'm not afraid to say what I'm thinking, or voice an opinion, I do have a hard time meeting new people.. My husband is much more the outgoing one in our relationship, and he can talk to anyone, about anything at anytime. I hate it!

I have no problem planning parties, choosing places to go, or encouraging people to come along. It's when we're all there, and we're looking at one another that I feel like I'm the one that's supposed to make sure I talk to everyone. God that's awkward!! Especially when you have some folks who are clearly very shy, and then those who are not giving off "good happy vibes"!! LOL. I also can't EVER remember names! I suck at it. It's very embarrassing. If I've met the person before, it's excruciating for me!!

Since January, I've met several great women that I want to get to know better, and enjoy spending my time with, but when you're constantly "hosting" and having new people coming out to new events, it's really difficult to grow the friendship with the original women that I've now connected with.

I almost wish I was just a "member" of the group... not the organizer. Seriously Stressed Mommie..

Elephants!

What a fun morning we had at the Zoo this morning! It was a moms club event. The elephant bath & tricks were sooo much fun. My kids in particular were just completely taken with the whole scrubbing and hosing the elephant down! They watched in AWE. The look on their faces was just priceless!

Before going this morning & last night before bed, we had to read Miss Mary Mack, Mack, Mack & What's for lunch? Two of their favorite books, featuring elephants of course!! I had no idea that elephants had such BIG FEET!!!

I was amazed just watching this huge animal do as he was told, getting down onto his knees, and rolling over. We walked around, and visited the monkeys & apes, the kimono dragon, the panda exhibit, kissed some donkeys, and watched the cows.

The only disappointing part of the entire day was that the "kids pizza" playground was closed or under some kinda construction! We were all hoping we could release the kids from their strollers and wear them out before loading up and going home! We were able to make do down at the kid's farm while checking out the cows, goats and ducks!

There is just so much to see at DC Zoo, that we're going to need many, many, moms day outs here!

Tomorrow is park & a picnic! I can't wait. I love being outdoors and running around with the kids.

Big Balls, Heavy Balls & inebriated bowling..

Well it's been go, go, go around my place this past week. I've walked about 19 miles so far already, and was geared to go again today to Roosevelt Island, but it's YUCKY out yet again! I'm so sick of bad, crappy weather. I just want it to be bright, dry, and at least 60 degrees.. is that too much to ask??

Last night I went for a moms night out bowling. I had a really good time. Especially since the rules were:

Besides the fact we like to bowl, we kind of suck at it and don't care. We are girls who just wanna have some fun! That's right, you read that correctly. We just wanna go and bowl for the sheer fun of it and be more interested in our last order of chicken fingers & pitcher of beer than what the score might be, and when we say keep score, we mean that loosely, and only in the sense that we want to get our lies straight.

For example, "Wow. I bowled a 17." Proper response from inebriated mommy member, "No, no. You're drunk and really wrong. That's a 117. Pay attention...and pass me the curly fries."

Also, NO competitive bowling for us. Or else this might happen to you.

If you like to bowl (or think you might), and your good-for-nothing friends won't come out bowling then we are the group for you.

If you like meeting new friends, and socializing with interesting and fun people, stop reading and sign up for this event now. We will get along famously, and we are the group for you!

If you can bowl while drinking from a martini glass, and not choke on the olive, you totally rock and should RSVP to this event now. We are the group for you.

So of course I HAD to go. I even had a smashing headache all afternoon/evening, and after about 6 aleve, and laying in a dark room almost close to tears, and totally miserable, I found this stuff from Origins that I'd stuffed in a drawer. I put it on after a quick shower, and I swear to God, I could feel that stuff working. I put it on my temples, behind my ears, and on my neck.. it was amazing. I think mine is only a sample size, so I'm totally buying more of it.

I was actually "comparatively" good, and totally surprised myself when I actually knocked all the pins over a few times. I hadn't bowled in years - like maybe 10 years, and I remember sucking so bad, that my husband had them put up the guard rails, because I was soooo not having any luck otherwise.

Half a pitcher of yuengling later, my headache was well and truly toast! I was either really hungry, or their fries were really good! Unfortunately, the only thing that didn't happen, was the cosmic light show, and glow in the dark balls.. that's only now on a Saturday night.. oh well, it was still fun, and the other moms were really nice!

Happy St Patricks Day!

From the Irish Girl herself.....

We're loading up the family and going to go visit friends & tie one on, and have some good craic... ;-)

Single chick Vs Married Mom chick??

I'm pooped. I had a great night out with two girlfriends at this somewhat "hokey" hotel nightclub. However, it was a night out!!! No kids to watch out for, or clean snot & poop off of made it extra special!!

Being out last night with a single girlfriend and another mommy shoved the harsh, stark reality that is my life, right into my face. This one guy came up and started chatting, and I'm sure was wondering which one of the 3 of us was he going to hook up with. He was actually someone that I may have been interested in dating at one time.... nice looking - tall, athletic and neatly groomed & dressed. He had a cool job that was interesting to talk about, and on the surface there was nothing screaming out dickhead... loser... player...

Then it sank in... why am I not this interested when my hubby talks about his job...? Why am I even having this conversation with this guy, when I'm married with children. The fact is that there's a bit inside of me, that was thrilled... I miss that "newness" spark that you get when you are presented with possibilities, or the getting to know one another stage.

After a few more hours & interesting conversations with mommy chick, and seeing single chick get totally drunk, and slobbering all over this dude, I realised that being footloose and fancy free isn't all it's cracked up to be. Looking around the room at lots of lonely, mostly desperate people who want a connection, be it emotional or physical, with someone else to validate them, isn't all it's cracked up to be. The grass isn't always greener on the other side of the fence. Or is it? I do sometimes envy my single friends, to walk into your own place that's neat, clean, tidy, and smells good, is something that I yearn for... longingly.

I got home at 2.30 this morning, and then got online till about 3.30am. I then woke hubby up for some quick drunk sex, and finally went to sleep about 4.30am only to get up at 6.45am. Luckily my kids have just gone back to bed!! Totally not normal for them, but very appreciated. They must realise that mommy is not in tip top condition today. Hair's all askew, look like crap warmed up, and am wearing the pink fuzzy slippers... not a good sign!!

I hate this fu*king weather!!! It's sooo depressing. It makes me wanna eat ;-) --- which reminds me -- I've gotta stop eating out, especially right after going for a walk. Totally defeats the purpose when I go wolf down french fries & half a schwarma pita from the Jewish kosher deli, after only burning 500 calories! Hubby is also quite confused as to why I'm suddenly hanging out at Jewish markets....

It also doesn't help the weightloss efforts when I hit the drive-thru at 2 in the morning for a big and tasty burger... LOL... the vodka and redbulls probably were ok... I mean vodka doesn't have that many calories in it right? Afterall they were doubles with very little actual redbull in it..

I decided about a week ago to move my DC Moms group over to meetup.com. Besides the learning curve, I really like it - but I need to figure out how to edit the stupid reminders so that these women aren't getting shit loads of email. I'm not sure about the paying to use it thing - it seems a little weird to me, that people (i.e losers) pay to start a group in order to make friends... then it occurs to me that I'm one of those total losers for having had the need to start up a group to find mommy friends to begin with. Do you see the big old L on my forehead??? On top of it, now I'm paying too, at least yahoo was free...

Last night was actually an event on the moms night out calendar.. but as it turned out, there wasn't much interest in going out on a Thursday night, to dance your socks off to the oldies... the yahoogroup was so large & seemingly successful; yet most of the mommies refused to move to meetup, and they're still hanging out on the yahoo group where there's *nothing* going on. What the hecks up with that?? Luckily, lots of moms were already on meetup.com just waiting, and waiting, hoping for something cool & hip like me to come along ;-) and they immediately signed up. So we've gone from 287 women on the yahoo group, to 157 on meetup. Only 10% are from the original yahoo group...

Flickr... do you?

Anyone reading use flickr?

I've just started, and love it! I love looking at other people's photos - and it's kinda creepy in a way. When I'm doing it, I'm almost doing it in a way where I'm hoping not to get caught! Then I wonder what kind of people are looking at my pics?

What kinds of pics do you post? How often? Do you browse through other peoples? What's your flickr address?

People are posting pics of their medicine cabinets & what's inside - cause you know everytime you host a party at your house, everyone automatically peeks inside to see what's hidden in there next to the mouthwash...

Check out the tag whatsinmybag on flickr -- most people have no clue what's really in their bags...

Post your flickr address to the comments section and give me something to do!! I must really be a voyeur!

Kevin Kelly (from Wired magazine) developed a "cool tools" site to allow readers to share useful information about the things they love. It's quite convenient!

Vote for the worst!

I have NEVER been so bored in my life - are we the people, really trying to turn the show upside down ??? Now Sanjaya stays in the top ten, and will go on tour.... he'll also have to sing Gwen Stefani...!!

From VFTW: "According to The Post Chronicle, Simon Cowell is definitely not enjoying the rein of terror that Sanjaya Malakar is bringing to American Idol. Simon had this to say: "He's not going to win. I won't be back if he does!" The whiny Brit has never been so upset about a contestant making the top 12, and he's never threatened to quit before, so it looks like it's up to VFTW to help power vote for Sanjaya for a while. Simon will already have to endure Sanjaya on the Idol CD and Sanjaya in the finale (even if he doesn't win, he'll come back to sing with the others), let's make him also endure Sanjaya on the Idol tour and Sanjaya as the reason he lost his lucrative job. Yay"!

Wanna know the truth behind American Idol auditions according to VFTW?

Howard Stern has also been campaigning pretty hard to get his listeners to keep Sanjaya around!!
Read more here.

Quotes... got any?

Julie Burchill
'I've got two sex speeds: Mad For It and Why Bother?'

Coco Chanel
'All men are children, and if you understand that, a woman understands everything'

Cher
'The trouble with some women is they get all excited about nothing - and then they marry him'

Michelle Lovric
'Men are perfectly good. The trouble is they are only good for one thing at a time'

Carrie Fisher
'Sex was for men, and marriage, like lifeboats, was for women and children'

Joan Rivers
'Never give the ring back. Never. Swallow it first'

Agatha Christie
'An archaeologist is the best husband any woman can have: the older she gets, the more interested he is in her'

Sophia Loren
'Sex appeal is 50% what you've got and 50% what people think you've got'

God it's been a hard week!

So for the last week, I've been back on "my program", and boy oh boy has it been hard going! My first walk in months was glorious though - I felt like I could just keep going and going. I met a bunch of mommie friends down at Roosevelt Island where we tracked around it with the kids in strollers. After they left, I got on the George Washington Pkwy and walked all the way down to gravelly point & back. It felt so good! It helped that it was at least 65 degrees outside! I'm such a wimp otherwise, and so not a snow girl!!

The hardest thing is cutting out alcohol yet again. Going out for moms nights out, will mean no more red wine, and certainly no more margaritas -- they have about 700 calories alone in them!! Who knew??

In January I'd managed to really tone up my stomach, (which was my biggest problem area & where I really carry my fat), well it's gotten flabby again, so cutting out almost all my exercise for 6 weeks or so was NOT a good idea!!

Need to get back into those 7 minutes of ab crunches again daily!! Why is it soooo hard to just get down on the floor and knock them out??

Got some really cute photos of my kids to post later today! Check out the flickr square on the right!

Do all the good you can....

Admittedly, this seems like a daunting task to accomplish. You would have to have the energy and the patience of a super human to act like this every day, all day. But why not try? Easier said then done, but certainly worth the effort. Why wouldn’t you want to be the best person you can be? Sure, we’ll all have moments, even days where we are far from perfect, but isn’t that part of being human? A better way to look at it might be to just put as much effort into being kind to as many people as you possibly can. You won’t touch the lives of everybody, but if you make just one difference, it will all be worthwhile.

Should be an interesting list...

What list am I talking about? This one. She's been in business since 1993 - so I can't imagine just how many "well knowns" will pop up! As a matter of ethics, I don't really think it's too kosher to sell your little black book.

American Idol Vs Girls Gone Wild?

Sanjaya gets to stay and Sundance goes home? Haley stayed and Sabrina went? Whose voting for these people? Then there's Antonella Barba, the least talented contestant with those cutesy, maybe a bit racy photos on the Internet; well there's a positive side to her being eliminated: Joe Francis, the creator of the ‘Girls Gone Wild’ franchise and the founder of Mantra Films Inc. announced his intentions of making her the next face of Girls Gone Wild.

Now you either think he's vile, and a total sociopath, or you rape him up the ass.

SugarDVD, the largest renter of adult movies online has already made an offer to the alleged singer: according to TMZ, the Sugar CEO has already contacted Antonella, offering her no less than $500,000. And she’s not even required to take her clothes off for this amount! All she has to do (if she takes them up on their offer, that is) is to be the company’s spokesperson, hosting gigs and such. Maybe, in time, if she does her job well, she will become a Star on her own, who knows…

Clearly she's not such a big loser afterall, because, whichever will be her next step (light porn with ‘Girls Gone Wild’ or mainstream hardcore porn with SugarDVD), it is bound to make her a rich woman.

Weight Issues

So, if you started at the beginning of my blog, you'll know that I've been on a weightloss kick for a while now (7 months). I *WAS* doing so well. By the end of December I was down from 247lbs to 197lbs - reaching my first all important goal of getting below 200lbs!! Pathetic to all you skinny bitches I know... but it was no picnic.

I went from taking 4 spinning classes a week & maybe an hour of weight training to working out at least 2 hours every day. I would include hiking 6 miles or so most days of the week, in addition to the above gym routine. I made it more fun by buying a heart rate monitor and along with my book I'd compete with myself every week to add more calories burned to my sheet.

Not only did I feel great, and full of energy, but exercising helped my ADD unbelievably. I was so much calmer, less impulsive, focused and my mood was elevated naturally....

Then sometime in January I felt really run down, like I needed a break. I also spent more time on the computer than I normally do (which meant less time exercising), and I started slacking off. Then February hit and by then the weather was really nasty, snow, and freezing cold, and my kids would alternate between goopy snotty noses, or having the flu. I used those as excuses to not make it to the gym, and of course, I sat on the couch typing on my laptop even more. No more running the stairs, or jumping up them two at a time. No more tai-bo tapes when I had 30 minutes of peace and quiet. I really just slacked way off.

I could tell by looking around my house that I was spending too much of my time online, flylady's habits were starting to wane, and my floors really need to be polished.

I was only spinning maybe twice a week, I was buying peppermint patties for my chocolate cravings, eating edy's fruit ice pops almost nightly (albeit only 80 calories), going out for dinner and margaritas or red wine, at least weekly, and sometimes twice a week, and I literally haven't gone for a walk since sometime at the beginning of February.

Even though I'd kicked my sugar habit, my alcohol habit, and my chocolate habit, they have slowly crept back in, and it scares the shit out of me. So much so that I decided today was the day I had to recommit to my program. So I got on the scale, logged back onto sparkpeople, and after entering my weight - 183lbs - I was told I'd graduated to stage 4 of 4! That was enough to refuel my waning desire. I dusted off my motivational binder, printed out a few new recipes from sparkpeople, and read it from cover to cover. I also listed new goals for myself. I'm going to give myself to Oct 28th to get down to 150lbs, which I realise will mean that it's taken OVER a year to lose 100lbs. But this is real life, and if the mind can conceive it, the body can achieve it.

Feeling less stressed already.....

What was she thinking?

OK, so I haven't really gotten into this season of American Idol. I don't think that the talent is as good as it has been in the past, and it's just not held my interest much.

So Gina Glockson -- I really, really, really, like her hair, and her dark smokey make-up rocks. I liked her sound, and I thought she was VERY comfortable looking performing on stage tonight, but what the hell was she thinking when she put on that sparkly spandex silver mini dress; with a fuschia pink bra, black control top panties, and then with tights over them!!!!???? It looked like she hadn't used a dryer sheet and had too much static cling on it!

I loved the leather, buckles and studs, even the fishnet gloves were kinda punk rock glam (in a good way), but god, that dress was horrendous!!! This was one for gofugyourself.com

I loved Melinda Doolittle - she was awesome!!! She has to win!

I am so glad that dickhead Simon finally gave LaKisha Jones a nice compliment about her outfit!! She's going to be in the top 3 for sure.

What did everyone else think about her dress?

How can this be?

OK, there's a whole blogging group of infertile women here, mostly putting their bodies, minds, and husbands through hell with drugs, all in the hopes that they one day might conceive a child.

I can't even begin to speculate how much money, time and heartache they've invested in the thought that one day they might have their own little child running around... (well I can, because I spent some time there myself)....

Then there is Angelina Jolie & Madonna going overseas to buy "adoptable" babies, when clearly there are so many of them here just dying for a good home, and someone to love them.

Looking at this, do you think it's fair that these children should now just hang out in a group home, because the chances of being able to be placed locally with foster families (who are open to adoption & increasing their family and not their bank accounts) is probably slim...

How do women like this get away with having children in the first place? Having the nerve to let the children YOU gave birth to, live alone in that filth, is beyond me. .

Why don't more infertile couples know about their states foster care programs? Is there some kind of stigma of taking a child that's been born to some drug addicted crack whore here in DC, (or some woman who simply cannot parent the child herself for whatever reason) as opposed to some abandoned baby in an orphanage in Ethiopia or Guatemala?

Isn't it better to help the kids who are here, and desperately want a better live for themselves, not to mention saving yourself about $25K or more, into the bargain?

Starbucks thinks you need statements like the one below with your coffee:

Starbucks cup #208 "I wish couples who desperately take every means to conceive a child would realize that adoption is a wonderful alternative. A child who becomes your child through adoption completes a family. Just as when you commit to your spouse or partner there are no biological ties, yet a family was formed. This child enters a family the same way! It is not blood and flesh that form a family, but the heart.-- Michele Johnson Starbucks customer from Amego, Kansas."

Now the only thing I wish is that it was more inclusive of all people - whether you can conceive on your own or not, adopting a child LOCALLY FROM THE UNITED STATES FOSTER CARE STATEWIDE PROGRAMS makes more sense!!

Three links

• Are these really the same women?
• Looking into the future with your kids and the funny, fucked up things they say at times.
• Babble - a magazine and community for the new "urban" parent ??

The Secret...

So I spent the day yesterday with a few single girlfriends and we **tried** to watch "The Secret" DVD. "The Secret" - book - I also bought, but haven't yet managed to finish. It's in some weird text script/font - which makes it very difficult to make out the words (at least for me), and it's done in short quotes and paragraphs by the authors - Word for word, what I've read in the book, was said on the DVD, so I feel like it's a bit of a rip off..

Even with a few bottles of wine, chocolate godiva cheesecake, brie & crackers and god knows what else ~ we were all totally disappointed, pissed off, and bored out of our minds. In fact at 5pm, after 4+ hours of watching, pausing to bitch, watching, and pausing to slam Oprah for recommending it, we were all completely wiped out and had to take a nap for an hour and a half! We eventually turned it back on and watched the ending.

In the movie, they say if you tell yourself over and over and over again that you need to lose weight -you'll always need to lose weight. If you tell yourself that you see yourself slim, fit and healthy and keep repeating it over and over and over (or make a wish book or an inspirational board with photos of the way you want to look, and what you want to wear) then you'll get it. If you keep saying that you have debt, then you'll always have debt. However if you take a bank statement and white out your current balance, and put in something else - like $300,000.09 and imagine you have that kind of money to play with - money will then be attracted to you...

Essentially, according to "The Secret" if you want a new partner, new life, new house, new car, or even to cure yourself of cancer - think (and behave) that it's already yours.

In theory, but on a much more intrinsic "happiness" level, I agree with positive thinking.

As an Oprah fan as soon as she featured it on the show, I like millions of others, went to Amazon that same night, and bought it. I think for her, this may go the same way as "A million little pieces".. (however, that book was actually a good read). Perhaps before putting these people on her show, and making them all wealthy, she should have one of her many minions do some background research.

The author - who doesn't even feature in the book or the dvd - except for her drunk sounding commentary - which you have to go into settings, and turn on... was very bizarre. The graphics, the whole music thing in the background is just totally distracting... She put this together in two months - and it shows - low budget, hard to follow, most of which can be found in a much better book, done by a real author:

• The Science of getting rich, by Wallace D Wattles (written in 1912 and still applies today).

Then there's the people who have capitolized upon his book:

• The science of attracting more of what you do want
• Attractor Factor - Getting what you want
• Ask and it is given!

Besides the fact that almost everyone interviewed on the dvd and in the book is a no-name and certainly not out of this world famous -except maybe for Jack Canfield (Chicken soup for the soul) and John Gray (Mars/Venus) - the others are all life coaches, authors of books that were relatively low on anyone's list, energy experts, and people in white coats, who supposedly work in quantum physics.

Dr Joe Vitale MSC.D ---> he's a "doctor of metaphysic science" - says one of the dumbest things I've heard:

"This is like having the Universe as your catalogue
and you flip through it and go, 'wow, I'd like to have this experience and I'd
like to have that product... 'it's you placing your order with the
Universe."

This was the recurring theme in the movie -- "ask and ye shall receive"... checks in your mailbox instead of bills, flashy cars instead of bus transfers in your pocket, mansions on the coast in California... Then they show this 8 year old boy pining away for a red bike - and low and behold some creepy old Mr Roger looking guy is standing on the doorstep with a shiny red bike for him...

I am not going to buy my children everything they want out of a bloody catalog, and to say that the universe will just perform and provide things for you as you want them, is more than just a bit unrealistic! No one mentions working hard in school, going to college, or thinking outside the box...

BTW - http://www.metaphysics.com/prospectus/degree-programs-metaphysics-.htm

Also, many of the new age speakers that endorse "The Secret" are bald. SO... I must ask — if the secret is so effective, why don't you bald, badly tanned dudes positive-think your way into some new hair?

I'm also pretty sure starving children in third world countries spend an awful lot of time thinking about food & visualizing it, but they still don't get it.

I was disappointed that it was soooo materialistic - it wasn't about positive thoughts and energy so much as it was consumerism - and buying *things* that are supposed to make you happy. Of course, they wanted to sell it to the general public, so what better way than a "quick fix" - think diet pills, diet books, diet drinks, diet food...

Here's the first 20 minutes of the website's movie - judge for yourself!

So... do you like to dress up for your husband?

I'm pretty sure it's because I was a little drunk last night, but I decided that I was going to rev my husband right up. For some reason, even one glass of wine makes me frisky. Several glasses of wine turns me into the proverbial wanton woman!

He and I have been having sex together for 14 years, and in the beginning we broke a bed, almost got arrested in a parking lot, and spent entire days and nights in the sack making love. However, since the kids came along, it's really gotten pretty tame & predictable. It's now always in the bedroom - usually at night, and we've motored down to probably an average of 3-5 times a week. I miss the excitement and the spontaneity of our life B-K (before kids).

I'd actually feel like a bad mommy asking hubby to follow me into the woods, and ravage me... knowing that at anytime a jogger might run past! Ooooh the excitement & thrill still gets me.

SO, I pulled out a pair of black fishnet stockings, a pair of leather thigh high boots, and put on some little leather number (well not soooo little, it was a size 12).. but I felt like a size two smoking hot Charlies Angel in it! LOL. Alcohol does great things to your perception! I came out of the bathroom just as he was about to climb into bed. To say that he was happy & thrilled to see me was an understatement! That man was fully revved up & raring to go!!

We were like love starved teenagers all over again. At 3.30am this morning, we finally were both spent & closer than I've felt in a while! I was sweating like crazy from the thigh high boots, and had to peel them off afterwards, but... I highly recommend it!

OK, I take back what I said originally about...

Craigs List & Freecycle... in my original post I bashed them both equally well. However, at around 8pm last night, someone did come by and pick up all the toddler stuff, and someone came by first thing this morning and picked up the box of spices & vinegars. YEAH! Now, I just need to get rid of a highchair, a stationary bike, a vibrating chair, about 50 bags of kiddie clothing & a garage full of stuff, that I don't need!!

I want an organized, clean home, and I don't want this "stuff" cluttering up my life! Before the kids it was easy to just load it all up and go to goodwill - and get a tax write off - but have you seen what a car looks like with two carseats in the back, and an entire trunk taken up by a double stroller, diaper bag, and emergency changes of clothes? I can barely grocery shop, and I can no longer in the same trip buy diapers & groceries, or go to costco. That is actually the only good thing to come out of shopping with two toddlers - by the time my son is in the actual shopping cart, and my daughter is up front in the seat, I can't spend tons of money - because there's very little room left to put stuff.