Gone like a freight-train, gone like yesterday, gone like a soldier in a civil war, bang bang..

So I take my kids to the outlet mall to find the new sketcher's croc's (with the backs on them and straps across the foot). We roll in with our great big double stroller, which of course doesn't fit down any of the aisles, and I've got to park it nearby. So, I've got my kids parked and strapped in. I find a pair of shoes for my daughter, get her out, sit her down and put them on, and just as I set her down on the floor to have her walk for me, I hear a huge commotion and next thing I know my son is buried under about 12 boxes of shoes.

As he weighs about 21lbs dripping wet, he is literally buried. He'd pulled the bottom box from the shelf, and the rest came toppling down. I quickly scoop the boxes up, shove them back on the shelf, and I swear, 30 seconds later, I turn around and my daughter is gone. Gone. GONE!

I frantically called her name, and started searching the aisles - but what the fuck is up with shoe stores who have those shelving units up to my breasts, and barely able to see over. I ran throughout the store calling for her, and ran to the door.

I ran out into the mall and must have looked like a deer caught in the headlights, trying to figure out which way she might have gone. A very young couple walking past, totally nonchalantly asks if I'm looking for a little girl. WTF? NO SHIT SHERLOCK, I'm looking for a little girl. My little girl. They said she was about 9 or 10 stores down... I ran frantically.... as I'm running I feel sick to my stomach, and almost want to puke. I then realise as I'm running and screaming her name, I've left my wallet on top of my stroller, and my other kid in the stroller, alone, in the shoe store. I keep calling and there's no answer. I can't see past the sea of people, and I'm thinking when and if I get her, I'm going to bloody kill her. She is obviously coming into the "terrible twos" stage.

I finally see her. She's "shuffled" her way at a high rate of speed, with the stupid anti-theft device holding the stupid crocs together in the middle. So much for their fucking anti-theft program. I grab her up, and I admit the first thing I wanted to do was slap her silly. Or puke. I couldn't figure out which. I screamed at her the whole way back to the shop, and as she's so sensitive by nature, that was probably worse than a spanking. She was balling her eyes out when we got back to the shop, and thankfully Houdini hadn't gone anywhere. God knows I was in no mood for him to do a disappearing act.

I pulled the shoes off her, grabbed my son's, and slapped them down on the counter. Of course the one and only store employee is oblivious to all that's gone on, (which makes me want to slap him too) and he wants to sell me the doo-dads for the shoes. I'm barely lucid enough to get money out of my wallet, which was thankfully still sitting on top of the stroller, and the last thing I want to do is ponder fucking pins for the shoes.

I've hated the idea of "leashes" but I swear to God, my children need to be leashed.

I felt like such a bad mommie, and it took days for me to settle down, and not feel nauseous everytime I thought about it.

The biggest loser...

So a few friends from the mommy group and I decided to start our own version of "The Biggest Loser" competition. We met last night at The Cheesecake Factory over at Tysons for our "last supper" and our weigh in!! LOL.

We're going to do it for 12 weeks, and then the biggest loser takes the pot of money we all put in, plus will receive a "service" from each of the participating members. We chowed down, and then ate cheesecake!!

I definitely need this competition, I still have about 30lbs I need to lose. I'm really going to have to buckle down though, my eating out has gotten way out of hand, and I need to start writing down my food intake again. That helped so much last time, but I prefer writing it in a food journal, rather than entering it online. I'd also gotten out of the habit of twice daily exercise sessions, and weighing myself every day.

SO.... wish me luck!

Terrible Two's?

For like the past month or more my son has really been testing my patience. Actually as of today, it's completely gone, I don't even have a shred left. Luckily for me and HIM, he went to sleep when we got home, and he's STILL ASLEEP!!! I don't want to wake him, I don't want to fight with him, and I don't want to see his pissy little temper tantrums!!

I know that not napping anylonger in the afternoon is causing some of the melt downs, but I can't force him to sleep, and he obviously only will when he's completely exhausted. 1,2,3 worked GREAT from the time he was maybe 9 months old to now, and now he's just defiant. Really only when we're out someplace, because he still cooperates at home (for some weird reason).

Is this the terrible twos? Do they just suddenly turn into Damien? I don't know where he picked it up, but in the last week, he's been throwing himself onto the floor/ground when we're out, but obviously doesn't realise that he's then "supposed" to kick his feet and writhe around like a lunatic - so he just lays there and looks at me.... but with a pissy, whiny look on his face. Then when I've picked him up, he furiously does this kicking and flailing with his legs and feet, and I've actually dropped him to the ground, one because it hurts when you get whacked in the boob, or the stomach, but two because I don't know what else to do. Usually the shock of falling on his ass, or his head, shocks him into realizing he's pushed his luck.

I'm not opposed to spanking, and only use it as a last resort, BUT, this whole spanking through the trousers, and over the diaper thing, does not have the same effect, as me slapping his bare leg, which immediately silences him (from the sheer shock of it no doubt). Does anyone else spank? It seems to be very un PC here in the states, but where I grew up, my mom would trail me out of a grocery store by the ear, and not give it a second thought, or give me a good whack on the ass with a "ruler" if I wasn't doing what I was told.

I've read all the stuff that says when I spank, I'm the one losing control, and I even agree with that to a certain extent, but sometimes, like today, I wasn't out of control, but I wanted him to know that he was at the end of a very short rope, and he needed to quit. It could be that it's Thursday, and it's been a long week of 13+ hour days alone with him and her, but I'm feeling like he's just decided that he can do whatever he wants, when he wants. I want to nip that in the bud right now.

He is normally very good about knowing not to go on the road, and at the park, he normally stays on the grassy area, but this week, I find myself saying over and over again, come out of the carpark, and stay on the grass. I've put him in time out at the park, but nothing seems to phase him. I don't want to be one of those moms who say things over and over, but then don't really mean it. I want him to know that when I say it, he'd better listen to me, or there's going to be a consequence... but what's the consequence???

A friend of mine who has 22 year old kids gave me a book - called - Toddler Taming - and it's british and obviously was written 20 years ago, but it's very clear that spanking was a means to an end, worked well, and was promoted widely. Are there other books? Other suggestions?

Milan does have a lot of very special issues, that do add to his behaviour and we have read the out of sync child, which gives us insight into the things he doesn't tolerate well, but it doesn't really talk about discipline methods for toddlers.

When do they "get" sharing? Today at playgroup, everytime another child picked up a toy, HE THEN WANTED THAT TOY. It was SO annoying. I actually wouldn't care if he didn't "get it" but at least didn't whine and throw a hissy fit about it. AAGGGGHHHH!!! So sorry for the long rant! It doesn't help that so many of the moms that I now know have kiddies who seem like totally well behaved, normal children!! I feel very inferior as a mommie. I think I'm the only one out of the group who has to constantly correct her kid.

Please help!!!

Aaaagggghhh!! Totally stressed out mommie..

I had no idea what drama would ensue. I had no idea that moms could get so angry, and throw their toys out of their prams in a most unladylike manner. The fact that people feel anonymous behind their computer screen gives them a level of ballsey-ness that they most definitely wouldn't have in person.

Now that I've calmed down, and don't want to hunt them down with a baseball bat, I find it interesting. However, not *that* interesting.

I had so much fun today with the kids - except my son has picked up this really annoying habit, and I'm ready to pull my hair out from it:



I have no idea where he got this silly, idiotic, throwing himself on the floor, and attempting to start a temper tantrum from. I am SO NOT that mommie. He better get over it quick, otherwise I'm going to make a book of these photos on shutterfly, and then I'll shame him with it for the REST OF HIS NATURAL LIFE!!

Allergies, Stroller-skate & Cherry Blossoms!

We have been having so much darn fun! Today we took the kids to a roller skating rink where they let the mommies push the strollers around the rink. It was fantastic! Of course, dodging little people was mighty difficult & the fact that I haven't been on rollerskates in about 20 years made it "interesting" to say the least.

It was my birthday on Tuesday - 35. God it sounds so old now. When I got home with the kids from the gym, Dan had all the lights dimmed, and candles on a cake, along with dinner & pressies. It was so sweet of him! However, Terryn and I ate half an entire cake between us. I've gained almost 7lbs over the last two weeks. I've been on a binge. Last night I had Godiva chocolate cheesecake. I can't stop. It's pathetic.

We had an appointment with an allergist on Tuesday. I decided at the last minute to take my daughter too, so when we got there, they did the prick test thing on both kids. Milan who has serious eating issues, and diarrhea several times a day, came up negative! We've now got a name and number for a Pediatric GI specialist at Georgetown Hospital. The allergist said that a lot of preemies who were born drug addicted & with fetal alcohol issues have immature intestinal tracts & although no "allergies" he probably does have an intolerance to most foods that have glucose in them as it puts more of a strain on the digestive system.... So my daughter, she came up positive... Totally allergic to dairy products.

This is the same girl who wolfs down ice cream, loves milk in her cereal, ate half a cake stuffed with vanilla pudding and freshly whipped cream with me the night before the testing, and eats cheese every day! My son on the other hand hates dairy of any kind, including cake and ice cream (and we assumed he was just really smart and knew what upset his stomach, so would choose to avoid those foods)!

Now we have to remove everything dairy related from our daughter's diet. Boy will that be hard. Signs that I missed - a runny or stuffy nose, annoying cough and general cold sypmtoms. He said that as she approaches 2 years old, the symptoms would get much worse and that she will be more at risk for being allergic to other things - like pollen etc., later in life. I thought she just kept getting sick, (daycare at the gym, changes in weather and that kinda stuff). Boy do I feel awful. I've been giving her triaminic and other stuff unnecessarily.

Monday we went to the Building Museum in DC, it was AWESOME! The building itself is pretty spectacular and the kids had so much fun in the "construction zone". Afterwards we metro'd up to the Smithsonian and walked over to the Tidal Basin. They were having an outdoor concert when we arrived, and the weather couldn't have been anymore perfect! It was absolutely beautiful.