Law Enforcement?

OK I'm soooo depressed about Wednesday that I'm seriously considering pain or no pain, gall bladders, pancreas, missing body parts or not, I want to drive to Annapolis to the pirate ship outing that I planned. Even the kids will be a bit disappointed otherwise!!

I personally thought the hospital staff were a little mad and down right irresponsible discharging me the other morning, after they'd spent the entire day and night keeping me high and drugged up. I was loopy. I even remember stumbling to my car and feeling a bit woozy and the whole way home thinking, what's the legal ramifications if I run my car into a ditch while high on whatever it was that they pumped me full of....?? It's a DUI, I'm sure.

I wonder what are the laws about driving while on this stuff? I know the warning says things like don't drink or operate heavy machinary (which I assume means a car, and not a tractor trailer), but is there a specific law against driving while on this stuff?? Is it like being "intoxicated" on alcohol? Can you get a DUI? They've given me percocet for the pain

I guess I'm just hoping that it rains buckets so the pirate ship event can be postponed and I don't have these dilemmas going on in my head ;-) I soooooo want to go!!!! BTW - I'm a little drugged right now, so forgive me.

Cup-A-Soup...

So, it's Mother's Day. I'm high as a kite, and in a world of a hurt. My kids came in this morning with a gorgeous buzy lizzy plant, and cards for me. I hope he wasn't being "funny" but hubby got me a "reformer" session, and a massage at the gym, and promised I could do the TN trip when I was better.

Several hours later, I made it downstairs - god knows I was just going down to check & make sure the stove wasn't left on again.

I asked hubby if he'd be a dear and pop out to the grocery and get me some cup-a-soups - you know those 70 calorie, 4 to a box, things that you pour a hot cup of water over? I wanted him to get me a box of tomato and a box of chicken soup flavor. I didn't think I could handle chunks, veggies or anything like that, and just wanted something brothy, that I could drink down. I've always bought those things when I'm not feeling good for some reason.

SO, he comes back, with Oxtail and some other kinds of "packet" stuff that you make "dips" out of. About 6 different boxes of stuff. I explained it again, in detail, and off he went for the 2nd time. This time he came back with every brand of canned soup on the market. Split pea, lentil, tomato/veggie, and boxes of that campbells soup stuff. I was seriously pissed off.

SO, as I'm still up and holding onto the wall for support, I hunted down a box, with one last packet in it, and sent him out again - with the box and the packet. I really wanted cup-a-soup, and I realized I was acting like the "soup natzi" but didn't care.

I was obviously not going to get cup-a-soup. The store manager of the local Giant called me. She told me she was standing with my husband in the soup aisle, and unfortunately for me, they no longer stock "cup-a-soup" -- I swear to god, if it hadn't been for the fact that I can't breathe, I'd have been rolling around the floor laughing my pants off.

SO, he is going to be having a lot of soup for dinner for the next few weeks because I swear no joke he spent almost $150 on the stuff. When I'm better, I'm going to the grocery store to find a box of it, and then I'm going to beat him with it ;-) Are all husbands this daft? Or just mine?

Heart Attacks & ERs

So Thursday night Regan invites us to come out to dinner with her and her mom. They are raving about Azucar's margaritas - so how can I possibly not try one. I'm finding it very hard to concentrate - way more than usual, and I'm totally uninterested in a margarita. (THAT should have been my first clue that something was terribly wrong with me)! Milan who is really not being "bad" is getting on my nerves, and I can feel like I'm getting a major headache. Half way through our dinner, I've really had enough. I don't feel good, and my head is pounding, so I ask if we can leave and go home.

When I wake up the next morning I'm in excruciating pain. I feel like I'm possibly having a heart attack. Can a 35 year old woman have a heart attack? My left hand is numb, my left shoulder is hurting, and my chest feels like I'm being squeezed to death by a boa constrictor. I am having a tough time breathing, but I think, this is ridiculous, and I must just be having a "panic attack" about going to TN, and leaving hubby to manage everything on his own.

I have phone calls to make, and the morning is not going well at all. I'm finding it difficult to walk, stand up straight, or talk, but I've got this playdate scheduled at Gravelly Point and I can't not go. Even if I'm having a heart attack, I just can't not show up. We get there late, very late for me. An hour late. I thought I was going to have to pull over on the side of the road and throw up, and I was having hot flashes the whole ride. Literally I let the kids play for an hour, and I couldn't stand it anylonger. I could barely talk, sitting was very painful, and if I laid down, I was worried I'd never be able to stand back up, so I got the kids together, and loaded them back into the car.

By the time I got home, my pain was 10 times worse, and I didn't think that was at all possible. I was convinced I was having a heart attack, so I grabbed a bottle of those mini low dose asperins and read that you're supposed to chew them if you're having a heart attack. I must have chewed up literally half a bottle. I mean if one possibly works in stopping a heart attack from happening, then 20 must for sure make things all better.

Sitting down with my knees pulled up made it slightly better, removing my bra felt 10 times better, and I just thought I have to chill out until hubby gets home from work. I don't know how I made it, but by that afternoon, I'd had enough. As soon as he walked in, I walked out, and told him I was taking myself to the ER, and he could stay with the kids. I could barely get into or out of my car, and my breathing had become really bad, so bad that when I walked into the emergency room, they immediately called my name and had me seen right away even though there were other people waiting.

Why is it that no matter what the ailment is - the hospital insists on a pregnancy test? I mean I knew I wasn't pregnant, I was having a heart attack for gods sake. So, within a few minutes I was in bed, with IV's of drugs on one side, and my heart hooked up to monitors on the other side. The bloodwork came back - not pregnant but severly anemic & some screwy band cells - that's the story of my life. Then came time for XRays, and more drugs, and a doc who was very concered he was going to cause me discomfort by slipping his lubed up finger up my rectum... to check for internal bleeding?? All that was ho hum. I was in severe pain, and nothing he was going to do back there was going to even come close.

They tried to reassure me that I was NOT having a heart attack, and that the pain I was feeling in my arm/shoulder and left side, was just "radiating" to those areas, and was actually coming from the middle of my stomach. They were concerned that I've got some low white blood count issues, and just kept pumping me full of some pain reliever drug (thank you, thank you)...

Some more results came back that I possibly had gallbladder issues, and issues with my pancreas - back down for more XRays, and then back once more for a CT SCAN. They injected me with iodine and wanted me to breathe deeply and hold it - which I was uselss at. I could barely breathe, much less take in large gulps and hold them for 60 seconds! Those results were pretty much worthless.

So this goes on until the next day, at which point, they discharge me with percocet and orders to go to bed for 3 days, then see a GI dr, and a hematologist. I was sooo relieved to get out of there! The entire night was a mad show with drunks, whackjobs getting sedated and straight-jackets, and people throwing up and pooping themselves in the beds on either side of me, due to the "roto virus"...

I have to have an ERCP, and then also schedule gallbladder surgery in about 1 month. I'm not thrilled about losing body parts.

I'm not allowed any alcohol, (there goes all the mommy drinking during playdates) and have to eat a diet high in carbs, and no fat. (I'm sure that means chocolate is out). I'm not allowed to fly as apparantly the high altitudes will make the breathing problem much worse, and going to a "mountain" is off limits. SO, for now, my TN trip is off :-(

Aries Girls..

I'm an Aries - and boy do I have all of the traits! I'm quick tempered, fearless, enthusiastic, adventurous, impulsive, headstrong, and will say exactly what I want, when I want, and rarely engage my brain before opening my mouth. I love freedom of choice. I lose interest almost immediately if I don't get "quick results". I'm definitely not a follower, and I want to do things my way. I am easily irrated by slowness in friends, and can't stand "stupid".

I love people who are straightforward, and tell it like it is. I enjoy people with a lot of get up and go. If you are out on a date with me, plan to stay out late, and have fun. I can't stand lazy, slug like, indecisive people. I would prefer to figure things out while I'm doing them, instead of reading the instructions. Kinda like Ready, Fire, Aim.. - doesn't always work, but I'm to much of a get up and go girl to slow down and read the damn book.

What you see, is what you get from me. I suck at lying & try to avoid it at all costs. Don't ever expect subtlety, tact or humility from me. I'm very direct, frank and honest, sometimes to my detriment. I prefer to do things for myself, rather than wait for other people to do them. To me, that's the fastest way to get something done.

I'm fiercly proud & in love with my family. As a mother, my kids will usually be clean, happy, healthy and loved. I probably won't pick them up every time they cry or fuss and I'm not going to over protect them, But my kids get loads of warm, wet, impulsive kisses and big bear hugs. I'm not a permissive parent, and my favorite weapons of child psychology are: time out, a wooden paddle, (joking, but at least a good hand spank on the butt is sometimes deserved), bedtime stories and goodnight kisses.

There is NOTHING that I won't tackle. If it's a challenge or just something I think I want to brighten my life, I'll make some kind of a stab at it whether it's practical or not.

I have shining optimism, and love other positive people to surround myself with. An absolute way to end a relationship with me is to start dictating, or dominating me. Don't ever give me orders, because I'll just quit listening. Probably the only thing I hate about my personality is that when I'm done with something, or someone, I'm done. I can't go back.

Childish Behaviour...

I'm so glad that I'm over it. I have had total mental block for days now, have so much to say and can't get it out. Why, I hear you ask? Because I was really STUPID, and posted my blog url to my email signature line, and until I could get to the point of blowing, and going completely mental on certain mommie bitches, I didn't think I could write about it. I'm pissed that I had lost my personality, sparkle, enthusiasm, and fucking fun attitude.

I can't believe I even suggested giving up my group because some suggested I was doing them and everyone else a dis-service. FUCK 'EM! I can't believe *I* (even for a second) crumbled, and showed weakness, meekness, and oh poor-me-ness. All things I can't fucking stand.

I don't see it as a personality flaw when I refuse to compromise my own ideals and opinions. I can't stand women who say one thing to your face, and then another behind your back. I can't stand people who couldn't do what I've done, but all of a sudden think they're a fucking authority on it, and everything else. I can't believe I was so STUPID to think that some women wouldn't be complete bitches.

You do understand that a belief is a point of view - that person's p.o.v. I hate when people attack, point the finger at others, (or whisper behind their backs) based upon something they disagree with. It's a fucking opinion. We all have them. We're all entitled to them, and that's what makes it great about "getting to know someone". They can turn out to be not what you thought, and that's ok.

The fact that something so fun for me and the kids was becoming so negative, a chore, and left me wandering around with a feeling of dread in the pit of my stomach sucked. However, I can't believe that I even let it bring me down. I was slipping. I was falling into fucking Stepford. So, I did the only thing that would make me feel better, and be my personal best, I got lots of hugs and kisses from my family & friends, and I understood how really stupid & childish I, and they had become.